A Warm Welcome to our New Subscribers!
This survey is now CLOSED. A new survey will be released in September 2023. Subscribe to my newsletter to be notified when my next survey is released.
New Scapegoat Survey
I’m excited to announce that I am now conducting research for my next book, which will be a follow-up to my best-selling book on family scapegoating abuse (FSA), Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed.
You are invited to take this anonymous survey. No identifying information is required to participate. Your survey results will be kept confidential (please read the Survey Disclaimer before answering the questionnaire).
To complete the 10-question survey, click on the link below. As always, I appreciate your interest in my work on family scapegoating abuse.
Scapegoating and Chronic Illness
I’ve received many reports from FSA adult survivors that they struggle with a variety of illnesses, some chronic. I released a YouTube video today discussing family scapegoating, toxic stress, and the development of illness. I also reference the ACE (Adverse Childhood Experience) quiz, which you can take here.
I do plan to release an article on this same topic when time allows; however, for those of you who would like to learn more about this subject, you can check out my YouTube video.
Find Me on Social Media
I’ve recently begun posting on Instagram. You can find me on Instagram (and on Threads) under the handle @scapegoattraumatherapist.
Remember, family scapegoating abuse is REAL and its effects can be devastating to FSA adult survivors. Healing takes time. Be gentle with yourself today!
Warmly,
Rebecca C. Mandeville, LMFT, CCTP
Rebecca, I am 75 years old and just read your amazing book. I have spent my lifetime in a state of confusion, isolation, self-doubt and grief, sensing something was horribly wrong in my family, but having been taught that the only thing wrong was ‘me’. I believed it firmly, yet still felt there had to be another answer. I have been searching for that answer all my adult life.
I found your book accidentally and after reading several readings, and many tears of sorrow and joy, I know I have found the answer. Scapegoating, gaslighting, neglect and rejection.
I have also been studying narcissism, and I am almost 100% certain both my parents were narcissists, but with different traits – one overt and the other covert. My 2 siblings took on narcissistic traits as well. I have been outnumbered all my life, trying desperately to rise out of the sinkhole of their abuse.
I know there is no cure for C-PTSD, and I’m no longer young, yet I deeply hunger for a few years of emotional wellness. Your book has provided clarity, and compassion, and should be in every counselor’s bookshelf and every library.
Finally, Rebecca, please research the dilemma of seniors who have spent their lives believing they have always been worthless and could not rely on their families for love and support. Seniors are largely ignored now, in all parts of society, while most research focuses on younger people who still have much to offer. But seniors have their stories, and it would be so wonderful to be able to find some peace while giving valuable insight into this important subject. We have lived it, still live it, and will never be able to completely leave it behind until we are gone.
Thank you for all you have done and will yet do.
Laurianne
Hi Rebecca: something I would love to read in your upcoming book is how divorcing your family of origin is really the last societal taboo. We have largely come to accept that there are marriages, friendships, work relationships, etc. that are much better ended for the wellbeing of one or both parties, but there is much less social support and understanding for those of us who need to terminate relationships with destructive people with whom we happen to share DNA. It is almost a kind of collective madness, as though we believe these same people we can see are destructive as spouses, bosses, friends, and coworkers are magically transformed into better, more functional people by procreating or becoming siblings. Your help to broadcast the message that **ALL** relationships are earned and none are compulsory once we’ve reached the age of consent would be greatly appreciated.
Hope this message finds you well and happy!
Stacey W
Hi Stacey, I do envision covering this in my book. I love the way you describe this aspect of family scapegoating abuse. Thank you for your comment and suggestion. Much appreciated.