This article was originally published on Psych Central as an advance preview of my book on family scapegoating abuse (FSA), Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed. To comply with current publishing requirements, I am no longer able to offer portions of my book for free online.
Visit my blog to see more articles on family scapegoating and complex trauma.
Rebecca C. Mandeville, MA, MFT
I appreciate and relate to the comments in this thread. Finding a therapist to walk me through the struggles with CPTSD is very tough to find. Is there a group of peers that meet regularly? It feels like being with others who are similarly affected and finding tools together or going through the above mentioned workbook would be so healing!
Hi Patricia, I do not have a group I am running on what I named ‘family scapegoating abuse’ (FSA); however, a few of my clients have let me know that they have found the support in this facebook group helpful: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1513500492048702/.
You also may want to check out other resources I mention in my book, including support forums for complex trauma sufferers.
When misdiagnosed or not having the right diagnosis to move forward with healing, at age 59 and feeling worse than I ever have, becomes so frustrating and is such a hopeless and helpless feeling! We end up feeling lost and like NOBODY understands and having therapists who just aren’t getting the severity of how desperate we become to find somebody, ANYBODY, who knows what is wrong with you and knows how to help in our recovery! I have stopped even going to therapy because of therapists taking to me about everything from the weather to things that just totally don’t pertain to me whatsoever! I cry daily and just feel this is my life, always has been and I am just going to have to deal with what life has given me!
Connie, your feelings are understandable. So many of my clients had similar experiences in prior treatment settings. Have you been able to work with a therapist certified in treating complex trauma who understands abusive family sytems? As FSA results in complex trauma in nearly every case, it is the primary treatment focus for clients who come to me for help.
Hi Rebecca. I had never heard of Complex trauma or FSA until a friend that was concerned over me sent me your book! When I read it SO MUCH made sense and I thought you were speaking directly to me! I’ve been diagnosed with everything from PTSD to severe depression to anxiety disorders and on and on! Was on so many drugs that I didn’t know how I got from one point to another and REALIZE it and stopped taking everything! From Valium to Xanax to lithium! I truly don’t know if our therapists in my small town are like me and never heard of it! I so appreciate finding you!
Hi Connie, Sadly, your story reflects what was revealed in my research on what I named ‘family scapegoating abuse’ – I do hope you are able to access professional help; I discuss what types of therapist / modalities / training might serve FSA adult survivors best in my book. I also always appreciate honest reviews on Amazon and elsewhere, if you have not yet left one. Do peruse my website’s blog as well, you will find additional articles there that will be helpful. You also may want to pick up the C-PTSD workbook ‘Transforming the Living Legacy of Trauma’ by Janina Fisher, which is in my ‘Shop’ here on my website as well, along with other books listed there.
An old friend diagnosed me. He is Lakota and was abused at school. We talked intensively and he just told me one day this is what you have. Cptsd. It gave me direction.
Hi Jana, Sounds like you have a very wise friend. I hope you are finding the help you need. I highly recommend Janina Fisher’s workbook: ‘Transcending the Living Legacy of Trauma’. It is listed here in my shop in the menu. Thank you for your comment.